Recently I read an excellent article in our church magazine, which led me on to this book by Canadian Dr. Sue Johnson. Here is a link to that article by Irene Oudyk-Suk:
We’ve Been Married that Long?
If you don’t get around to the book, at least read Irenes’s article which captures many of the main points. If you are interested in more from Irene who works as a therapist in Ontario, Canada here is a link to her website: Couples in Step
Without a doubt, this is one of the best books on relationships I have read. We’ve all heard about how neglected children who are never held or stimulated will fail to thrive. In studying ‘love’ and the brain, scientists have learned that emotional attachment is just as crucial for adults. Can I reach you? Do you have my back? Are you there for me? Will you value me and put me first? Do I matter to you? These are all questions which get at the very core of relationships and the key to strengthening and healing comes in conversations which focus on accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.
This book is for everyone really: newlyweds, long-marrieds, gay or straight partners, and also for singles who need emotional attachment just as much, finding it with friends, family, and community. The writing is simple and straightforward. There are throughout the book, many examples and ‘Play and Practice’ sessions with questions and answers. Though helpful for therapists, I found myself skimming through some of those sections to be able to not get bogged down and focus on the more ‘meaty’ sections which are easy to identify. This could be a book to read through for the main points and keep on the shelf for future reference.
Very affirming for those who recognize what has made their relationship so strong, and very helpful for those who are struggling. Highly recommended.