“We grow in connection with others.”
Lori Gottlieb is an American psychotherapist who writes the weekly ‘Dear Therapist’ column for The Atlantic magazine and has been a TV screen writer. I’ve never read a memoir quite like this. It’s very personal about the author of course, but also opens the door to therapy sessions which are usually private and confidential so it felt like being a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ but also I felt like I learned something about how people gain self-understanding. I don’t have much experience with this myself but the few sessions I have had with a naturopath who utilised talk therapy, I was amazed at her skills of perception and intuitiveness in a relatively short amount of conversation time.
The first half of the book hooked me in with Gottlieb’s self-deprecating humour. She is honest and funny and refreshingly unafraid to doubt or question herself. The fact that she needs therapy herself gives the book a ‘real’ feel. Towards the middle I was wondering where all of the seemingly random stories about her clients/patients were going, but hang in there. The second half of the book is where the magic happens, the wisdom and understanding arrives, and there are satisfying outcomes, even in difficult and tragic circumstances. I guess in that way the book mimics a real therapy session. She highlights Viktor Frankl’s emphasis on finding meaning and quotes from his book Man’s Search for Meaning which is a lifetime favourite of mine. She also talks about how love wins. Here’s an excellent interview with Gottlieb which captures her perspective on therapy: click here.
Apparently this kind of view into ‘both sides of the couch’ is also TV material, ABC is already developing a series based on this book.
Here is the author in a TED talk with the title: How changing your story can change your life.
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