Is love a mysterious power? Can our feelings and emotions be trusted? What happens when the feeling fades? How can relationships be fostered, nurtured, and maintained in our individualistic society? Dr. Sue Johnson brings a paradigm shifting message about this. She says, “Defining love as a mystery beyond our grasp and control is as toxic to the human species as poison in our water. We must learn to shape our love relationships.” It’s all about connection.
Staying connected is a basic human need, although some may see it as weakness. Actually, the more connected we are, the stronger we are. This book is mostly for couples but it does have something for everyone, no matter what your age, relationship status, gender, or orientation. Dr. Johnson explains the science of love, and it actually just makes sense. And believe me, by being scientific about it, she does not take the romance out of it!
If you are in a good relationship, this book can be affirming and will highlight how your love can be deepened. If you are in a troubled relationship or feeling distant from your partner, finding a therapist who uses Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) can help. Dr. Johnson also has another book which is a self-help manual for couples called Hold Me Tight. ‘Love Sense’ is highly readable and helpful. It will change the way you think about love.
I heard about this author from a friend who is an EFT certified therapist. Thanks Irene!! Have a look at her website, it might be a lifeline!
Couples In Step
Here are some links to more information on EFT and Couples Retreats.
Recently I read an excellent article in our church magazine, which led me on to this book by Canadian Dr. Sue Johnson. Here is a link to that article by Irene Oudyk-Suk:
We’ve Been Married that Long?
If you don’t get around to the book, at least read Irenes’s article which captures many of the main points. If you are interested in more from Irene who works as a therapist in Ontario, Canada here is a link to her website: Couples in Step
Without a doubt, this is one of the best books on relationships I have read. We’ve all heard about how neglected children who are never held or stimulated will fail to thrive. In studying ‘love’ and the brain, scientists have learned that emotional attachment is just as crucial for adults. Can I reach you? Do you have my back? Are you there for me? Will you value me and put me first? Do I matter to you? These are all questions which get at the very core of relationships and the key to strengthening and healing comes in conversations which focus on accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.
This book is for everyone really: newlyweds, long-marrieds, gay or straight partners, and also for singles who need emotional attachment just as much, finding it with friends, family, and community. The writing is simple and straightforward. There are throughout the book, many examples and ‘Play and Practice’ sessions with questions and answers. Though helpful for therapists, I found myself skimming through some of those sections to be able to not get bogged down and focus on the more ‘meaty’ sections which are easy to identify. This could be a book to read through for the main points and keep on the shelf for future reference.
Very affirming for those who recognize what has made their relationship so strong, and very helpful for those who are struggling. Highly recommended.