‘The Anatomy of Peace: How to Resolve the Heart of Conflict’ by the Arbinger Institute

“What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?”

When a book claims to be “truly transforming and powerful” and is written, not by a person, but by a for-profit institute, it makes me immediately suspicious. So I began reading this book about conflict resolution with a bit of skepticism, only to discover that it really is very good. This book just might bring hope to troubled relationships and promote change. I would not hesitate to recommend it to anyone, since it is well written, highly readable, non-threatening, and does have the potential to improve people’s lives.

Written in an anecdotal style that reads more like fiction than a self-help book, two unlikely partners Avi and Yusuf (one Arab and one Jewish) run a wilderness experience for delinquent youth. One of the requirements of the program is that the parents commit to a two day workshop when they deliver their children for the 40 day wilderness experience. They think they will learn about how their children will be “fixed” but they could not be more wrong. Avi & Yusuf take the parents on a journey of self-discovery that will forever change how they view their relationship with their children, and also with others. Little changes can make a big difference.

The concepts in this book are really not new but the genius is, of course, in taking practical wisdom and framing it in such a way that it makes new sense for us. The lessons in the book are well structured, clearly thought out, consistent, and simple and memorable enough to make a difference. The continual examples in the narrative, help to bring the ideas to an experiential level, therefore the book must be read in full in order to gain the most from it – hearing about the main points will not have the same effect as absorbing the ideas through story.