‘The Push’ by Ashley Audrain

⭐⭐⭐

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Blythe’s experience of motherhood is nothing like she dreamed it would be and everything she feared, given her own upbringing. Her daughter Violet is strange and distant and difficult. Of course Blythe blames herself and feels others do too. But then her son Sam is born and she experiences for the first time a natural connection with motherhood that she thought she didn’t have. She is hugely reassured. Until a terrible tragedy makes her question everything.

I was intrigued by this Canadian debut, because it was meant to be a combination thriller/exploration of motherhood, but alas it failed on both counts. Although I did rather enjoy reading it all the way through, and it did grapple well with the whole “nature vs. nurture” dilemma, the pacing was weak and the reflections, though relatable, were not all that helpful. I think the unreliable female narrator trope has been done enough now (Gone Girl, The Perfect Nanny, The Girl on the Train). What the author did do well at times, was capture the grit and exhaustion and self-doubt surrounding young mothers (and fathers) who work so hard but never feel quite good enough.

I also found the writing style a bit distracting. The book is written in second person narrative, using “you” when Blythe is talking to her husband Fox, sort of like the whole book is a letter to him and she is giving him her side of the story. The book does bear a striking resemblance to We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver which in my opinion is by far the better book.

What did take my breath away was a quote at the very beginning by Layne Redmond from her book When the Drummers Were Women. I will never forget it. It’s actually a scientific fact I had never realised before–all of a woman’s eggs are fully formed when she is a four month old fetus. Which means that, albeit as small cellular beings, we all resided for about 5 months in our grandmother’s womb. That is a generational rhythm that resonated with me since my maternal grandmother died before I was born and I’ve always missed knowing her.